Yesterday

Yesterday was actually a nice day. A nice cold day. Freezing as a matter of fact. But it was nice. JennyLu and I met up at Chinatown and took the bus up to Montclair to finish up our project. After we got that over with, we let the day really just go with the flow. We stopped at Out of the Closet and everything was amazingly CHEAP, haha - cheaper than the flea market and that's crazy. I got a really nice simple tee for $1 & it was from Express. Then we bussed to back to chinatown to fulfill Jenny's craving for Froyo even though it was windy as fcuk. & headed to eat. We were crazing some GOURMET burgers so we bussed to Barney's at Piedmont - oh so yummmmmy!!!! It was around 8pm when we finished so we just headed to Wesley's since he was so desperate to do something. It was really late and hella cold so we already knew not many people would come and the girls were basically at dance practice but she texted some people to tell some people and whatever - minor complications and miscommunications. Met up with Thomas and Geoffrey at Lucky's - got RedBox and met up with Jason and Wesley at Wesley's. So it was the 6 of us - it was nice. It was SO fun and crazy playing Wii Tennis - my arm is still hella sore! I definitely look forward to playing that again - what a work out. Then we watched Resident Evil 4 & the moment we were watching was so perfect. Just laughing and yelling at zombies. We parted ways at a quarter past midnight and I went over to Thomas' - we ate the food I brought to his house with his siblings & went back downstairs to watch Shrek 4 <3 I knocked out at his house and in the morning went to our officer meeting (today). Well I haven't blogged about my day in a while and here it is. Haha, g'nights. Sleeping early tonight I think.

lately

senior year has definitely changed us for better or for worse - but i can see it in a lot of my friends, too. i've been wanting to be alone more lately, or maybe I just find it not much of a difference to hangout . and there's not much excited in just hanging out anymore. maybe we're all growing up and most definitely, growing apart. it's something unspoken that I know we all realize. is that why i'm not so excited for tomorrow? the only reason why I wanted to make the party was to bring all my friends together for 2011 - I wanted to be a huge group again & bring all familiar friendly faces together & just have fun. but this is just like planning fundraisers but with taking money out of my parent's pockets. I need about 100 people to go to break even with all the costs because I don't want my parents to pay for yet another thing. I don't think I have time to be excited for it - I'll probably be excited when the doors open but I don't even know what to wear or what to expect. things have been pretty glum. I finished all my homework except math & I should be happy about that but it's also the thought of applying to privates and scholarships that still lingers.. eh - maybe i'm just being miserable right now. but actually - it's true. It's true that I have lost the want to hang out, the want to see my friends, the want to plan things. I find myself enjoying just getting dressed up and taking off somewhere, barting to wherever & taking things slow. There's no need to stand there for hours to deliberate on what to do next. And since nobody but like Wesley makes it clear that they want to hang out then I take it that everyone feels the same about just not caring or taking initiative anymore because we all have our own things to do. Thomas asked Why do so many people think I'm nice. & I think it's because he knows that I'm actually a mean person? But tell you what - I really am at times but I keep quiet when I'm mad - I just hate myself when I let the wrong things slip out of my mouth. I don't know. I just really hate that break is coming to an end but at the same time, I'm glad. I need to keep my life going and occupied with anything - even school. I guess, I am looking forward to tomorrow night - I'm hoping it's more than expected and it'll be a great night to end 2010 and begin 2011.

more old xmas pictures

Wrapped his gift in ToGo boxes b/c I had no more boxes, lol

Oaklandish for Tyven

Oaklandish for Thomas

12am exactly

Later that night <3

Posing

San Jose - Christmas in the Park

family <3

My soldier Lol

Hella intense game of BIG TABOO

Prince in his Xmas Outfit

Cute huh? He looks like a damn little itty bitty evil hamster Lol

Wow well if this picture isn't old! Lol, both jenny's hairs are SO long. This was at H&M when we were all just getting to know each other better - freshman year!

I've been feeling SO moody for the past 2 days! All this wet & rain is making me such a home-body & I've been neglecting my homework. I'm glad I at least got to spend days with my family, joanna, april, cousins - my goal :) & sprinkling days with thomas every so so. Hahaha I don't even know what I want to do - like I'm complaining to myself that I'm so bored, but if given the chance to go anywhere, I wouldn't know where. I think if the weather permits, I'm going to take a run at the lake tomorrow. This whole New Year's thing is also lingering - just waiting for the decorations to get shipped & I know like everything - I'm just overthinking things because it will all eventually turn out pretty well worth it. There's a lot of things to get done that I don't want to get done. Such as commonapps. whoodedoo. As well as Project Kai - but I'm helping get stuff done bit by bit. On the brightside, I stayed home all day and got HELLA english homework done - lol, now I shall end this blog and finish it up already. Fuck Moby Dick!!!!!!!!!

angry

fucking moby dick is the stupidest book in the world. i have no idea why in the world it is acknowledged as one of the most intelligently written american literature, it is fucking pointless. the whole book just makes references to the bible - is that why it's so important? ssshhhhiiiiittttttttttttttt. been reading this shit for like 3-4 hours and i'm lost, -_-" stupid stupid stupid assignment for a pointless ass book. there's no imagery and the symbolism - there's only like 5 symbols in this entire 600 paged book! ughghguheheijflskmdfmkdfsf

I wonder when will my parents let me drive on my own or give me a car - so I can discover a lot of new places in a day and randomly call old friends and bring them out to have lunch with me. :)

a gift from nature

thanks mother nature, I feel a fever coming! like really coming. so i'm going to sleep and see if I can feel well enough to go to urbanoutfitters tomorrow morning 50% off all sale items! Heeeelllyeass!

Merry Christmas!

I adore all my gifts <3 i really wished my mom didn't feel like she needs to spend so much on me to make me happy. I actually went outside earlier and told her but she said as she shops, she justs gets me whatever she sees that is cute - & that she doesn't mind. so hey, i'm not complaining. these were, i suppose, i lot more meaningful than materialistic <3

the process of making joanna's awesome card! lol, i don't think i've done something like this since like 1st grade!

The card that Joanna made for ME! It make me laugh haha <3

 

From Joanna & Mom

Leggings Galore! Thanks Thomas, Mom, & AmyC.

From Amy & Mom

Love, Mom :)

Ohyehs, & Thomas got me Cherry Garcia Ben & Jerry's IceCream, my favorite! +the best chocolates from Hawaii thanks Jo!

real love

This year, it seemed as though Christmas just came out of nowhere! Well my days have been great & i'm a happy little girl <3 Got my bestfriend Jo - always thinking about me puahahaha; & i know she has my back through anything. She was there through my stress, confusion, embarassments, and tears. Thank You <3 & i got my boytoy, lol - boyfriend thomas here in my life. This boy will do anything for me, too. Like definitely there through my lazy moments doing everything I tell him to do. Hahah, well i love him. We definitely learned a lot about trust this past year and he has just managed to make me feel all giggly again - bringing that warm happy feeling in my tummy. My relationship with my parents have definitely grew, too. My dad was so proud of me when I got my license, lol & now that he has finally got comfortable with seeing Thomas around and giving him "advice" on how to deal with me - my bond with my dad is really lovely (: I love talking to him when I see him. And my mommy. Our relationship has always been STRONG - but it's really been more affectionate, like giving more hugs & I just love to run errands with her. I remember some years back when she'd have to go shopping to do things by herself during the weekends because I'd always be with my friends - but now, it's like an unspoken thing for us to spend every Sundays together. Also, since the day I went with my grandma to help her translate at the hospital, I feel like I love her so MUCH more. We went to check up on her heart and I stayed with her as the doctor was scanning and looking through her heart - the first time I saw a real heart and it was my grandma's <3 Then she spoke to me later and asked me to go to Cambodia. And all i got to do now is talk to my teachers about it & i really think i'm going to go! 3 weeks - crazy. ohyeas :) playing with Sugar like for 30mins-1hour a day cheers me up ... a LOT. so that was just a quick catch-up because i've just been really well happppy

SHAYSHAY!

Hi. (:
You my best freakin friend even when I say you're not.
One day, I'm going to be nice to you for an entire day. One day.
Except when you make me mad with the Hawaii candle, notebook, bracelet, and the 4x4? or something else? >=O LOL just kidding.
I start hella shit with you cause it's so funny. & I just wanna win. WIN. WIN.
Want some fries with that daddayy? LOL. I can't stand youuuu sometimesss! Like omgod, gonna get myself a pair of big green Hulk Hands just to use on you. LOL, punch buggies.
California Girl (or Gurl?) - Katy Perry. LOL I remember I think you were the first to tell me about that song. What a coincidence. HAHAHA.
What am I typing you ask? Typing shit about you cause i always got some to say about you.
But, you my best friend. And I know you about to miss me when I go to Reno or Vegas, whenever I leave. 21st? 24th? 26th? YOU SURE?! -_-" yah, you about to miss me & your life is gonna be "calm" until I come back. Whenever that is (;
We're gonna rule the world one day. puahahhhahaahaha.
I LIKE MONEY - MILLIONAIRES. LOLOLOL. 
Dang, this is so random. I'm scared you're gonnna come over here & catch me on this. LOL. bouta be busted!
I can't believe I had to see you Friday night, Saturday evening, and Sunday night, and here I am spending Monday with you too. -_-" dang, you so desperate to see me. HAHA, JKS.

Pwahha, we cute though?
This is hella random. Alrights, see ya later loser.

Bye bye,
Jo (rather have this nickname than the one you recently came up with you LOSER >=O )

brighter than the moon

it's difficult looking happy all the time when it's truly not the way you feel. i don't even understand myself; when my day is a complete shitpile, i can still smile - and then i ask myself later why. and i think it's because i've grown up realizing that there's no point in showing that you're upset or sad because people would just want to know what's wrong or what's happened without much of a care. i don't like sympathy and i sure don't like the 'what's wrong - are you okay' attention from people who wouldn't take initiative to change anything. i wouldn't want anyone to catch my misery & negative emotions - and well, when i'm in a classroom, my problems subside temporary. i don't know, it's 4 in the morning and i don't quite know what i'm talking about, but you get it. i can't wait to run away to college. but now i'm going to dream good things hopefully.

the times when you should+ would be sleeping but you can't.

Restraint

been getting pretty pissed off at a couple of things lately, and i just want to be left alone. for some reason, i can't wait until the weekdays when my parents work & my brother is off to who knows where; so i can really have the house to myself. and i have been getting the feeling of just not wanting to go out, but i hope it subsides by the time new year's eve cuts around the corner. it's like the universe did a somersault; cause i've been enjoying more time with my mom and dad than with others & i tend to be more happy and calm sitting on the floor in front of the heater with Sugar. the hell with schoolwork & projects - damn, if only i didn't care about my grades & future so much. secret santa temporarily felt as though we were all together again, but it wasn't enough - at least it didn't for me. i miss my friends - it just felt like we all went our separate ways and reunited for that night. which leads to some hypocrisy about me wanting to be alone yet wanting to be in one huge nice group again. o'wells, i suppose - it is what it is. right now, i don't know what much to write. I can go ahead and say something cliche like, ah the sound of the rain at this time of day is so soothing to my mind but fuck that. that reminds me - i have been letting a handful of cuss words slip through my mouth for the past three days. & then earlier, my mom was reading me some "Life Instructions/Lessons" & one of them was "Restrain from Cursing". it's winter break & it sure doesn't feel like it. hope this negativity will leave soon.

some things in highschool will never change

there's so many girls that claim other people are fake but in my eyes, if you make the biggest deal about others being 'fake', you're probably just the fakest of them all. i mean, there's always going to be people that you don't like & face it, they probably DON'T LIKE YOU TOO. why don't you just stick to the people that you enjoy being around and that like being around you; and in the meanwhile, get out of everyone else's business.

I feel like spending time to myself today & I suppose homework will accompany me later tonight.

Ever realize the moments where you just want to be alone but by being with your family was just what you really needed? That's how I felt yesterday. I knew I wanted to spend time to myself when I was at Berkeley (after I left the Aypal Social a little earlier) but when my brother came running after me, he told me he wanted to come with me, there was an unexpected smile. He never spends time with me, haha. & he enjoyed walking around the tents to look at the things people were selling.. & then we got picked up by mom & just had a great time. When we got home, my dad wasn't home yet, & I didn't feel like being by myself in my room so I just stayed with my mom in her room for an hour. She asked me of there was anything I had to talk to her about, that I could go ahead. But I told her I just wanted her company. Then she started telling me stories about what I would do when I was younger. Overall, Ive always known family was important but this proved to me that I should look forward to spending time with them.

I have my own life to worry about. - sweetdreams.

I read my old xanga blogs. bittersweet memories. but one thing was that I often told my blog "sweetdreams." :) I'm doomed to become a writer one day (I wish) but I just love words.

because every girl has to camera whore

i just don't like you

grandma

My grandma is all that and then some. In other words, I hella love and adore her. I grew up with my grandma (& grandpa). I have lived with them my ENTIRE life in this house of mine where I also spent my entire 17 years and going. My grandparents have been working since before I was born until this day! Because they love doing it, and I admire it so much. My grandma has so much energy packed within her. I wake up to her moving plates and pots as she makes breakfast for us & as i'm getting dressed for school, she gets dressed for her morning walk in the park .. in the cold. But after 'working out', she goes to the shop and after that she immediately comes home to cook. IMMEDIATELY. her food is to die for, that's why i always wonder why i go out to eat so much. Her being the ex-head chef of Phnom Penh restaurant definitely explains why I love love love cambodian food. I admire her because she's so smart and positive. She runs the finances at her store and she has taught herself how to speak English (broken, but still great!) over the years she has been here. I know she loves me because I'm her grandchild, duh. But she's seen me like every day of my life basically. I love it when she comes into my room and talks to me, because she teaches me more Cambodian as the days go. etc etc this can go on forever, but I am raised by powerful women, & I know that has impacted me hugely. P.S. this picture was taken about 2 years ago at my cousin's sweet 16. (:

love is a struggle

i am inspired to open up my horizon (if that makes sense) but to really be open to new 'OUT THERE' kind of things and definitely never hesistate to go to a place that I've never been to. thomas biked to my house after work & we talked about our day and played with Sugar for a bit; but there's definitely love there; Ohyeas, which reminds me. When Armael was bringing me and Anna Hoang+ Anna Bach home, we had this conversation about what love meant to us.

It came out to be that love to us were all rather simple. I said "Love is definitely when you can hate your partner, be angry at your partner, love your partner, anything. But never, can you ever hold grudges or stay mad..." I said it because I realized that with T. Just always there to absorb the shit i give him & still be able to smile back at me *sssiiiiggghhhhh dreamily :) Anna Bach & Anna Hoang & I all agreed that it takes communication and trust to a whole new level. About being able to just be blunt and straight forward about however way we feel. Armael's definitely was something, he said that: "Love is about being able to see the possibilities with your partner. Excited to see the possibility of traveling together, or even getting married & starting a family. Love is being able to see ENDLESS possibilities. But once that fire dies down, and you find yourself not thinking about possibilities with this person, it's not love. Love is a struggle." Haha, you definitely know he was thinking about that for a bit because it really made me think. I love talking to my coworkers about these things because everything becomes really deep even if it's not intended for and we just love to bring out our favorite quotes, etc (: & i told thomas about it earlier, and with him leaning on my bed's headboard, and me sitting cross legged across from him with Suagr laying in between us, everything in my life just slowed down & i was able to take a breather ... until monday.
*he taught me appreciation and how to apologize for my wrong-doings.

fussy fits

today didn't exactly feel like a friday and i admit it wasn't the greatest day for me either. the day before i spend the entire half day going to 5 different stores just to make sure holiday photoshoot went well and that night, i got into a fussy fit with thomas. i think i just had stress build up in me: like, i worked all week, homework wasn't on my side, and i'm just on a constant thinking about fundraising and planning. i wasn't trying to look down or anything, but i guess it showed. because during english, ms. vargus first asked me if i was okay, and I told her i'm fine. then later, she wrote me this lengthy note; i left it at school, but i definitely want to take a picture and post it because it really did hit me. like, i was trying to hold in my emotional side. it was really sweet and thoughtful, and i know no teacher has ever showed concern like that for me at least.

on a good note, the day ended good. i had work, but it was a little open mic/ youth speaks thing. it was fun, <3 & i enjoy the day with my coworkers, they're the awesomest. Aypal has definitely MOLDED me into something great; i learned what passion was from Aypal. & though i sometimes don't look forward to those 'extra' work days, it's only because of my lack of time and i've just been exhausted lately; but everyone we do in aypal really brings up my spirit. i always find myself tweeting about how much i love aypal after i get off work. & with every rally i attend, i only become THAT much more passionate about education and our community along with social justice.

& holiday photoshoot was a great turn out. :) i know i become little miss i want everything to be nice and perfect and nothing to go wrong .. i can't help it -_-" I really try, but i know i've been like this since freshmen year. But this year, i've really been working on it, really.

This is my puppy Sugar. This was also 4 months ago. Now she's much bigger. & also, I'm bringing her to school tomorrow. Since I was a little girl, I've always dreamed about bringing dogs/puppies to school. Who would've thought I'm given the chance to during my senior year of high school? Not me. So it came to a surprise when I realized Ms. Dellefield was serious. I'm excited (: I can already sense chaos.

blech

school is boring. and though my homework pile has decreased, i dread doing it. maybe i will take Jordan's advice, when i was complaining how school is the same routine everyday he said, "That's why I take a different route to class everyday." i think i'm going to do that, if i remember - haha.

not a good time to be getting lazy. especially with holiday photoshoot, project kai, and senior project following me by the ass.

my homework :)

So this is my assignment for econ - to draw an advertisement. Though I could do better, I'm pretty proud ;D I currently have an obsession with lipstick and Katy Perry so it was fun thinking of this and drawing it! Oh yeahs! And flowers are 'my favorite things in the world' so EVEN MORE OF A PLUS! haha, and to think I was going to name my dog Petals.

college

will it really be like having a whole 'nother life?

a lot of people have asked me if i planned to go to the same college as thomas and my answer is no. i will go wherever i please and i want him to do the same. just let things flow. we already talked about it.

I remember this day clearly. October was coming to an end - 2009. And it was a random weekday after school. I was carrying so many things - my volleyball bag, my textbooks, along with my heavy backpack. But the load was taken off when Thomas offered to take a hold of it. We were just friends then, and I wasn't sure what was happening. But since he told me he didn't have anything to do, I invited him to take a walk with me. & I brought him to my favorite spot. We sat here and just watched the sun go down - homework and other responsibilities being the furthest from our minds. Then suddenly this boat comes by, shocking i know - especially being at Lake Merritt. I was in awe at how much improvements was happening. Well, we took a good 7 minutes trying to figure out what this boat was called. Then I remembered - Gondola ... i think. I took this picture with my phone and everything just looked perfect - from the sky and the moon, to the buildings afar, it's just extremely calm.
It's just that everything around that time was just seemingly perfect, and it's nice to think through the past. Been with Thomas for a 13months on December third and many times I wish that we didn't go out for so long because I loved it when he was SHY being around me. But at least now I can tell him to do things without feeling bad :P Hahha, jk. But he does do incredible things that surprises me sometime - and many times I can be unappreciative. Random Memory* A couple weeks ago, it was POURING, and Ms. Dellefield were bringing us to UCBerkeley to watch the volleyball game against Stanford. Well, we were waiting in the car by the football field about to departure when I realized I left my phone in the girl's bathroom ... Keep in mind that this was at 5pm afterschool and it was pouring outside. I was in a mini-panic and told thomas to run out and get it for me. He ran in the rain, and went into the girl's bathroom & found my phone :] It was crazy. Because the girl's bball team were about to play and if they would've went into the bathroom to get changed, my phone would've been a goner. Well, overall - just wanted to remind myself to treat Thomas better than I am.

this weekend.

yesterday was the holiday parade, and although it consisted of a lot of waiting, that 30 minutes of holding those gigantic balloons was well worth it. i was talking to the lady next to me how this is such a once in a lifetime thing! I shall never over-look one person's job ever, because even what looks like the simplest things are extremely difficult to do! thanks kiwins (:

this morning, woke up and walked over to Quickly for my officer meeting. i'm incredibly happy because i felt like this was the most 'best' meeting ever. When i came in, my officers were all there ... HAPPY. haha, usually they seem really tired or out of it, but today they had a lot of things to say and it ended about 45 minutes ahead of schedule. ready for a heck of a busy month.

so since then, i've been at home, doing nothing and being lazy.

ohyeh, and this is tropical friday, lol. - click to enlarge

my december

a couple weeks ago, i went around and asked my friends if they feel the 'holiday feeling' and many of them told me that they don't celebrate the holidays so it feels the same to them. well, i wished they could feel the holiday feeling because i adore it ... most of the time. in my family, we put up the christmas tree and it just cheers me up every time i see it. my mom also brings out her holiday plates and cups and we eat out of em - red with white snowflakes. i enjoy going to the mall and seeing the huge ornaments along with christmas sales and just hearing the christmas songs play throughout the mall - AND you can't forget taking pictures on santa's lap. my december consists of the heater being constantly on and really depressing weekend mornings when i don't have plans, especially on sundays. but overall, i just really enjoy december and the holidays because for the majority of the time, it's a nice feeling. but once a year is enough for me. i've been doing good with my money budget - haven't shopped a bit for myself since black friday <3 and it shall remain that way up until 2011. not that i'll go crazy right after new year's or anything. I'm just a lot more consious on my spending. i hate feeling like 'competing' with everyone about who has what. It's just making me dig up my old wardrobe and mixing it up with what i usually wear. Although it usually consists of an hour to figure it out, it's better than spending money and watching my closet space shrink.

bye fb. hello blogging.

just getting better at not procrastinating. so no facebook - deactivate. hahah, well things should definitely be more calmer. i want to spend time with my family and what not and facebook really hasn't done much for me except update me with what my friends have been up to. but if i really need facebook to see what my friends have been up to, then what does that really mean anyway. i'll probably be back on it by 2011 anyway, lol. or christmas break.

today went by pretty fast. as much as i love the rain, it brings out the worst in people - public people on the public bus giving hella attitude and shit. the bus was really crowded when I got on and the bus driver kept telling people to move to the back and this black lady was sitting in the bus and she yelled "damn chinese people scared to get to the back and shit" & i just mugged at her and she was all "don't let me get my attitude on y'all." really?! people these days. and i just hate how i approach these things like every day ...

school's cool. but i've just been really annoyed at people for some reason. this year, i've been more in a pissy, i dont care, attitude about many things and it don't do any good for me or anyone else, i know.


this was during the summer of eighth grade if i remember correctly. i rarely have pictures with my parents so i especially adore this one. we definitely need another family picture soon. i really liked that dress btw, but my mom made me return it or something - i don't know why but it was because i hated wearing dresses then - she made me wear a dress in this because it was a wedding. too bad i love wearing dresses now. p.s. i miss that phone i had <3 too bad i'm such an iphone girl now - i miss the simple days ;D

memories

everytime i blog, i will post up an old picture and tell a short/brief story about it <3 so, first one:

so, since earlier I blogged about jo; here's a picture i came across. it was freshmen year & they were preparing for a performance so i was braiding her hair for her (: what a wonderful friend I am. the day i had colorful braces! you can't really tell anyway though, haha.

Dad

Happy Birthday Dad.

You've definitely been a huge figure in my life as I grow up. More so affecting me than you can ever even realize. Our relationship is so distant because you're always working and I'm always busy. I also think it's because I'm your only daughter along with the fact that you're the youngest of 3 brothers, that you don't know how to associate with me like that because I'm the first girl in your life besides mom of course. Our conversations have always been 1 minute on the phone consisting of "Dad, can you pick me up?" or "Hey hun, do you need a ride?" It's like I know you love me, but we definitely have a hard time expressing so. Everytime I hug thomas or tell him I love him, I think to myself why is it so hard for me to do and say the same to my dad? Fuck, it's like every time I write about you or realize how great of a person you are, I get so emotional and cry. So imagine how it was for me writing like 3 different personal statements about you.

Here's an excerpt:
"My dad and I have a distant relationship because he lacks the ability to express his emotions; even the sound of his laughter makes my eyes blur with tears as I wonder if I am relieved knowing that he is happy or disappointed knowing he laughs so rarely."

I have always been daddy's little girl, only because you always give me money to go out, even when I don't ask for it. I don't know what I really want because that money doesn't make me happy. I love it when we go out as a family - the last time we ate dimsum together, it was lovely <3 And well, like I know you enjoy hanging out with your friends - but you're getting old dad. Time to spend the time with you kids - even though we're growing up.

Don't worry though, because I know you love me and I hope that you know that I love you, too. And despite the fact that I fucking hate you when you smoke, you're still my dad and I look up to you, but just so you know, I'll keep telling you that you stink and that you're killing yourself everything you inhale that disgusting thing.

Your hard work you've done is amazing. And the advice you always give me about life, people, and work stays with me - I definitely get my common sense from you. (: Since, I've become aware of our relationship (last summer), I have definitely been talking to you a lot more and it's great because I am so much like you. Or I can see where I've gotten my traits from - my stubbornness, my thinking financially, and my focus on school - all thanks to you.

Anyway - I can type forever about you or to you. I just can't wait for the day that I can talk to you forever about how much I appreciate you.
You're a pretty cool dude, but now that you're 40 years old, I'm just not so sure anymore.

Haha, well. Going to make you a happy birthday card now so you can wake up to it.
<3, your one and only child - justkidding. Your One & Only DAUGHTER (:


Your birthday last year!

RE:

Joanna is definitely someone you would want to have as your friend - let alone, bestfriend. We are ALWAYS making fun of each other. Everyone knows it. Even teachers. They instigate our friendship. Moreno always tells me that I'm "just mad because Joanna is ASB and is BETTER than me." Hahaha & Dellefield & Padilla placed bets on us in a arm wrestling contest. Our friendship is obviously visible - not because we're always yelling at each other, but because people can see that we definitely have each other's backs. We share homework together - jk. she shares it with me. We remind each other of due dates and big events - mainly she reminds me, but you get the point. We even basically share parents - jk again. Her parents love me more than her & my parents frikken adore her, she's basically the only person my dad says hi to. And well we know everything about eachother except for the occasional, "Joanna, uhhh what's your favorite color?" I know I wanted to write her a huge thanks for thanksgiving, but I was in not time to blog or write. (But I know she'd see this soon because Joanna is a huge stalker) But there is not a day where she does not make me want to tell her to shut up. Lol, actually, I meant to say that there's not a day where she doesn't make me laugh - we always laugh at things - especially talking shit about each other. Hahha. My days are calm when her texts don't fill my phone WITH ALL CAPITAL LETTERS (maybe only we will understand this, haha) But then again, our friendship really is proven to be strong. I have been bothered by this girl ... I mean KNOWN this girl since middle school - and we didn't even GO to the same middle school. She just knew I was cool and added me on myspace, LOL!

There is definitely not a person that knows Joanna and HAVE NOT been helped by her at least once in their lives. Even though she is a frikken hater, she has a heart believe it or not. LOL, and she's always, ALWAYS been willing to help anyone with anything. She even reminds teachers of things and yells at them for being 'dumb' for crying out loud. Hahah.

She like can predict what I'm doing at certain times of the day like "OMG, I bet you're in front of the mirror for 1.5 hours trying to figure out what to wear!" HAhaha, & I deny it. But ask anyone that knows her, they'll say something like, "EW JOANNA" but they wouldn't deny that she's a great person.

Joanna, no words or whatever can even define how thankful I am for a friend like you :D

<3 Your Bestfriend (:

- joanna, you better appreciate this because you'll rarely hear nice things from me again.

look what i found.

Dear Shayna,

I'm thankful for you. Just like you to know you're taking a shower and I hope you take long cause i can't finish this because there's too much to say.
But, I always enjoy staying over just because. And my parents no doubt trust your family with me because they know I'll be taken care of. Vice versa
when you are over because that's how it is between us. I can't believe I went to sleep at 5 am staying over with you when we were suppose to sleep at
like 1 am. But, the whole conversation and everything we have at past bedtimes are definitely always worth it and I don't even feel tired during our
hours long conversations. (: And, waking up at 1 PM on a Monday with no school is definitely something I wouldn't do at home, but I guess I am at home
right now. cause like you said my house is your house and your house is my house. something people definitely dont understand. hey, why do you shower
without turning off the water? LOLL. side note. but I don't even know how to thank you, and you say the same to me all the time, but its just
an understood thing that we're thankful for each other. I enjoy spending time with you whenever even when you're boring and playing Tetris. hahaha.
but, these years have definitely tested a friendship worthwhile. and we go through everything together even if its minor. and i dont call people or
talk on the phone very often, but ALWAYS open to your name showing up whenever you need it or just cause. but, i was supposed to write this formally
and leave it somewhere in your room, but time caught up with me. and some girl i had to babysit the other night spent so much time with me i had no time
to really do it. haha. But, im sure you know but always got you whenever you need help with anything. k, i think youre getting out the shower now. (:


Happy Thanksgiving!
I <3 you.

Much love,
Jo.

So distance is definitely something easy to let happen, sad to realize, and difficult to fix.

typetypetype.

I'm not going to lie, I know that there are quite some people who don't like me, probably hate me - but I also know that a handful of these people have not yet spent a day with me. Heck, they probably don't even associate with me. And you know, I probably don't like you either. I know I talk a lot. But that's just who I am & it's not because I just oh-so love the attention, it's because I HATE keeping things in. I just want to ... say it. it's me. If you keep things to yourself and sit quietly whispering to your friends - so be it. And it's really up to you whether you want to listen to me or not. And people definitely judge me one way or another. But it's just like, if you're a good person, you can count on me to go out of my way to help you - if you need somewhere to stay, if you need to borrow clothes, if you need an old english essay, if you need advice, if you need me to help you sneak out - i've done these things for my friends before and i know i'm a great person. A lot of people would not want to help anyone school related because they just want to remain on top, but that's so fucking pointless and gets me angry. If people want to copy my homework, i won't give a damn - hahs. If I like you, I really do like you. If I don't, it's because you've either said something about me or you're just not a good person.


And the people that COMPLAIN?! I just can't get to people enough that I enjoy being class president. I work my ass off every year to raise money and plan fundraisers just for YOU GUYS. I can afford my own prom, I can make great decisions for myself, I can even raise money on my own - but i do what i do because the feeling of being satisfied off of hard work and to see people in my class happy is great! But to constatnly listen to the same fucking people complain about everything?! I used to change things up to please you people, until I've realized it's pointless - i don't even know why I let it affect me. I mean, I know it should and I should take in consideration - but that's why I have email, facebook, i'm in leadership every 4th period - if there's something you don't like, tell me. It's always the same people that do not support fundraisers that are complaining. It's just I've really began to lose passion in what I do because of the lack of support and it's beginning to feel like a burden on my shoulders. I want to go out and have fun with my friends, but every other saturday I spend it with my officers planning our next fundraiser, and the other saturdays - I'm preparing for upcoming fundraisers. day in and night out. FFUUUCKKK. I just HATE complainers. Complaining is something everyone does. But these people just love to complain about the things I work so hard on with the officers. And it's like you can complain if you helped and was able to put some support into it. But if you don't do SHIT - shut the fuck up. D:<

But i do admit that senior year definitely has been a lot easier and better with the support. There have been a larger group coming out to everything and I hella love that. And i'm just preparing one fundraiser a month and it's just no time to rest.

I guess that's partly what I have to say.
But then again, I don't even know who are my 'friends' anymore. A lot of them have just been people we invite to hangouts and we talk. But when you look at us at lunch, you can see who the real friends are. You can see our group - is divided. In the beginning, I've tried to prevent that. But it's now nearly seeming impossible. school just sucks. it has been one day after another. nothing interesting. just either boring or busy.

it's over.

i guess, i couldn't wait until college shit was over because i couldn't wait to blog. i mean, it's just different. and like when it came to writing my personal statements, i realized i don't even know myself ... but when i blog, it's a different feeling you get when you speak to friends or family or whatever. it's a quiet moment where you just feel like time has stopped for well, you.

now that apps are done with, i just don't feel like talking about it. but one thing is for sure, it's a pain in the ass. and i'm so grateful for joanna helping me every step of the way. <3