taught me to look at the brighter side of things
more appreciative of what's not happening to be
to give my all in anything I do, be sincere and blunt with what I say to others
you make me love those who matter in my life and
you've taught me how beautiful it is to be alone knowing a huge heart is awaiting
money is not happiness, insecurity is pointless and time wasting
a thousand different paths will lead you to the future you want if you make it happen
so don't make life-altering decisions too quickly
take chances
& don't think twice ... before anything since regret is only an anchor
holding you down
Monday, February 14, 2011
S.S.
school sucks.
this weather is going to suck. it's hella cold. it seems like i've been having a cold for about 3 weeks now, no biggie, just boogers dripping and sneezing a lot in the morning is all. i've been pretty out of it again, too. need to get more sleep into my system and more homework needing to be done. my mood has been really bi-polar a lot, to the point where i don't even know how i'm going to feel. sometimes, i'd enjoy talking to all my friends and some times, I just don't feel like talking at all. every day, i laugh with thomas, yell at thomas, get annoyed at thomas, and fall for thomas all over again; summarizing that, things are good with the boyfrand. it's fun just hanging out. I like not having facebook, because I feel so detached from the people at school, why would I need to feel like I know them because of facebook? winterball night was fun, i really enjoyed nights like what we did at applebee's, just talking and laughing & continue talking about anything. as much as i'm excited to leave and go to college, i admit that i AM afraid to lose a lot of this. i don't know where my relationship with thomas will be headed but i'm ready for it to go through rocky roads, and i am definitely prepared to face situations where it seems like i've never met some of my friends anymore because of all the time and changes that will pass us by. it's so sad for me to be thinking about these things so soon, but i know graduation is around the corner and it's fucking scary. and another thing, i've been cussing a bit lot lately, especially at thomas and when i'm explaining something to joanna, but like i mentioned in the beginning - mood changes!
i always knew i didn't like 'competitive' swimming, like i only enjoyed swimming if it was for fun. and i do feel a bit guilty for making mom buy me a new swimsuit but it's okay because it's from costco and it's affordable and i love it because it looks nice on me, so ^.^ hm, also, i promised myself to run at least 2x a week around the lake and I was really looking forward to running this week but the weather kills everything. I bought new running shoes, hahaa motivation to run i suppose (=
i also recently realized that i love tlaking to strangers, thomas says that's why weird men always try to talk to me and as much as i would like to deny that, i would like to assume that everyone is a good person before i realize they're not rather than vice versa. my weekend with mom gone & me with more freedom with bussing & staying out late has led me to encounter having conversations with a LOTTT of strangers, but it's okay, i'm still alive and not raped or anything *knock on wood because you know, the thought of something happening to me at the flash of a second is really scary. but yeas, i love having conversations with people with a huge happy heart, i love it so much. all the bitter people in the world that always seem to have attitudes need to go fucking hide in the corner and stop spreading that misery or something. we all know life sucks, but just be willing to lighten up i suppose.
this weather is going to suck. it's hella cold. it seems like i've been having a cold for about 3 weeks now, no biggie, just boogers dripping and sneezing a lot in the morning is all. i've been pretty out of it again, too. need to get more sleep into my system and more homework needing to be done. my mood has been really bi-polar a lot, to the point where i don't even know how i'm going to feel. sometimes, i'd enjoy talking to all my friends and some times, I just don't feel like talking at all. every day, i laugh with thomas, yell at thomas, get annoyed at thomas, and fall for thomas all over again; summarizing that, things are good with the boyfrand. it's fun just hanging out. I like not having facebook, because I feel so detached from the people at school, why would I need to feel like I know them because of facebook? winterball night was fun, i really enjoyed nights like what we did at applebee's, just talking and laughing & continue talking about anything. as much as i'm excited to leave and go to college, i admit that i AM afraid to lose a lot of this. i don't know where my relationship with thomas will be headed but i'm ready for it to go through rocky roads, and i am definitely prepared to face situations where it seems like i've never met some of my friends anymore because of all the time and changes that will pass us by. it's so sad for me to be thinking about these things so soon, but i know graduation is around the corner and it's fucking scary. and another thing, i've been cussing a bit lot lately, especially at thomas and when i'm explaining something to joanna, but like i mentioned in the beginning - mood changes!
i always knew i didn't like 'competitive' swimming, like i only enjoyed swimming if it was for fun. and i do feel a bit guilty for making mom buy me a new swimsuit but it's okay because it's from costco and it's affordable and i love it because it looks nice on me, so ^.^ hm, also, i promised myself to run at least 2x a week around the lake and I was really looking forward to running this week but the weather kills everything. I bought new running shoes, hahaa motivation to run i suppose (=
i also recently realized that i love tlaking to strangers, thomas says that's why weird men always try to talk to me and as much as i would like to deny that, i would like to assume that everyone is a good person before i realize they're not rather than vice versa. my weekend with mom gone & me with more freedom with bussing & staying out late has led me to encounter having conversations with a LOTTT of strangers, but it's okay, i'm still alive and not raped or anything *knock on wood because you know, the thought of something happening to me at the flash of a second is really scary. but yeas, i love having conversations with people with a huge happy heart, i love it so much. all the bitter people in the world that always seem to have attitudes need to go fucking hide in the corner and stop spreading that misery or something. we all know life sucks, but just be willing to lighten up i suppose.
Valentine's Day
Today was hectic - which wasn't surprising since it was Valentine's Day. It wasn't the best weekend when it came to sleep for me so when I slept late Sunday to realize that I needed to wake up at 6:30am to buy the flowers, I was completely drained and my mind was going everywhere. I asked Ms. Dellefield if I can have my officers take turns to work on the flowers & she told me to stay during first to do it. I didn't want my officers to miss class, so I just did 'em. But so & so began to trickle in & sooner than I realized, we had a lot of calculus cutters helping me. Ended up staying & working with who-ever came by to say they wanted to help. Basically, I have learned to not make anyone miss class if they didn't need to and over the course of 2-3 class periods, everything was done. Although I feel like senior year has been the best year with fund-raising, it's been the worst for me. I don't even understand - it is because my officers are a little settled in their mini-cliques that it's different? I mean, I try to talk to them about what's going on but I feel like they often send me a message that they'd rather be doing something ELSE. I know they reassure me that they're willing to do anything I ask but my own problem is that i DON'T KNOW how to ask. & i know I need to work on that. Sometimes, I expect too much & sometimes I'm not given enough. I don't want anything half-assed. I want things PERFECT - & though that's my own damn problem, there's a lot of things that require common sense or at least like, stop thinking about YOURSELF.Well, I never make it to CSF yearbook pictures and what-not because I', always busy or I forget. Well this time, I didn't forget. I just had to stay and sell flowers @ lunch. I'm not complaining, but I wanted to be in a group picture for once. I let my officers go & I stayed to sell with Noelle - we had a nice talk, I missed her quite a lot.
Um, got everything done. Thomas sucks as surprises & although I have to admit that I knew he was going to give me flowers because I caught him writing a slip, I was surprised that he would buy me a bouquet of roses. Fast forward to after-school. Thomas had a soccer game so I urged him to go while I plan my part of the surprise. I waited for the 18 for so long. For an hour, a fucking hour. I've been getting really pissed at the 18 bus a lot lately because SO many people wait for it and it takes HELLA long. Well, I've come to decide that I would rather WALK. I waited at the 18 for a while because I had an umbrella and one of my classmate didn't have one & she was waiting in the rain so I stayed with her as I sheltered her from the rain & we just talked for an hour, she's such a cool girl, a girl that I don't think I would have ever gotten to know at school.
Got off at Walgreens because I was planning to be unoriginal and buy some Valentine cupcakes. But I stopped and went to order like $30 of Church's Chicken instead because I know Thomas loves to eat chicken, lol & that he eats a LOT especially after soccer. Then I waited for the 14 to go to Thomas'. Ran into some cool people at the bus & ended up getting off the bus with this boy that was like my age & we talked about how rude the bus driver was (RUDEST DRIVER EVER! - im not even going to write about it) & turns out his house was the one with the meanest dog that always barks @ me & thomas. I asked what the dog's name was (Rufus) - when I walked by, I called the dog & it didn't bark at me! hahha ..
Got into Thomas' house because I have the keys to his little house & got to my main part of the surprise - CLEANING HIS ROOM! that shitpile is a fucking shit pile, lol. Like a whole family of dust bunnies and clothes EVERYWHERE, it was insane. I cleaned Shayna style because I had to rush before Thomas came home. Stuffed everything in piles, swept, fixed his bed, hung up his clothes. THEN! his little brother comes in & for a second I think it's Thomas & he was like OH SHIT! haaha, so adorable. I told him I was surprising Thomas & cleaning his room & he said good luck. Then the dad walks in & asks if I needed a vacuum, haha. He was headed to pick up T, so I told him to drive extra slow. Then he asks if he should tell thomas & i said NO! blahblablahblabh, I hear Thomas and his dad return & and close the door to this room so when he enters his little house/kitchen part, I keep thinking shit what do I do? Sit on the bed, stand up, wave, smile? haha, i stood there so when he opened his room door, he saw how CLEAN it was! His face was a complete light bulb. Apparently! His dad told him I was over right when they got out the car T_T" but as long as he didn't tell him I cleaned his room. We ate, watch movie, talked, laughed, la la la ;D It was a lovely night that calmed everything down.
really long overly detailed blog, i know
Um, got everything done. Thomas sucks as surprises & although I have to admit that I knew he was going to give me flowers because I caught him writing a slip, I was surprised that he would buy me a bouquet of roses. Fast forward to after-school. Thomas had a soccer game so I urged him to go while I plan my part of the surprise. I waited for the 18 for so long. For an hour, a fucking hour. I've been getting really pissed at the 18 bus a lot lately because SO many people wait for it and it takes HELLA long. Well, I've come to decide that I would rather WALK. I waited at the 18 for a while because I had an umbrella and one of my classmate didn't have one & she was waiting in the rain so I stayed with her as I sheltered her from the rain & we just talked for an hour, she's such a cool girl, a girl that I don't think I would have ever gotten to know at school.
Got off at Walgreens because I was planning to be unoriginal and buy some Valentine cupcakes. But I stopped and went to order like $30 of Church's Chicken instead because I know Thomas loves to eat chicken, lol & that he eats a LOT especially after soccer. Then I waited for the 14 to go to Thomas'. Ran into some cool people at the bus & ended up getting off the bus with this boy that was like my age & we talked about how rude the bus driver was (RUDEST DRIVER EVER! - im not even going to write about it) & turns out his house was the one with the meanest dog that always barks @ me & thomas. I asked what the dog's name was (Rufus) - when I walked by, I called the dog & it didn't bark at me! hahha ..
Got into Thomas' house because I have the keys to his little house & got to my main part of the surprise - CLEANING HIS ROOM! that shitpile is a fucking shit pile, lol. Like a whole family of dust bunnies and clothes EVERYWHERE, it was insane. I cleaned Shayna style because I had to rush before Thomas came home. Stuffed everything in piles, swept, fixed his bed, hung up his clothes. THEN! his little brother comes in & for a second I think it's Thomas & he was like OH SHIT! haaha, so adorable. I told him I was surprising Thomas & cleaning his room & he said good luck. Then the dad walks in & asks if I needed a vacuum, haha. He was headed to pick up T, so I told him to drive extra slow. Then he asks if he should tell thomas & i said NO! blahblablahblabh, I hear Thomas and his dad return & and close the door to this room so when he enters his little house/kitchen part, I keep thinking shit what do I do? Sit on the bed, stand up, wave, smile? haha, i stood there so when he opened his room door, he saw how CLEAN it was! His face was a complete light bulb. Apparently! His dad told him I was over right when they got out the car T_T" but as long as he didn't tell him I cleaned his room. We ate, watch movie, talked, laughed, la la la ;D It was a lovely night that calmed everything down.
really long overly detailed blog, i know
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