we talked all night last night about almost everything. i wanted to talk forever but the night ended an hour before midnight. we sat on a bench in the hot summer night and spoke for 2 hours. we barely finished our conversation. but times like these are when i fall in love with you all over again. i feel confident enough to admit to the world that i am, that i am in love. i know you have changed as that person that i suppose people think about about you. you told me things that you told me you would've never be able to tell others. you admitted that you couldn't even tell me until then. we texted as we got back into our separate dorms. and as i fell asleep, you stayed awake, looking up upon your ceiling, absorbing the conversation we just had. as if it was unrealistic that you have fallen in love too. yes, it has 'only' been about 8 and a half months, but like you said, it's felt like years because you can feel incredibly comfortable with me.
the next morning we wake, and i feel as though that night was emotionally magical. too lovely to be true. if i could just recreate that night more and more. i know we will have our moments, but it will take more than just finish it off tomorrow. maybe in a couple months or so, we could finish.
you think that i don't care, and you assure me that i'm so near beyond perfect.
all girls, all boys. we all tend to have our insecurities, deny it or not. one time or another, that feeling will return.
and once you have found a person that can make you feel such way, there will be experiences not exptected at all.
as for now, i don't know how i feel. i feel pretty good that we have been able to see eachother on a level that's like friends these past 4 days. seeing eachother and not being able to touch eachother, no hugging, nothing. & i like it, i told you. the space and just being able to look at you has stirred up a new incredible rush. the feeling where once we get on the bus, i can hug you again. and feel as though an old spark just got spiced up again.
but that's for now.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
where i've been
college summit
it really has been a great experience here and though i had my doubts about coming, i would regret it more than ever if i decided to not come. time literally flew during my stay here and the 100 degree weather made it all that better. the people here are incredibly wonderful and i got to meet so many people in san francisco and oakland that i never would've said hi to. the first day here everyone was really stuck with their own group of friends but i knew a couple of people that were in other schools because we went to the same middle school together.
the second night when we were speaking about going through the fears and obstacle that we had to overcome, i knew what i wanted to speak about but i knew it was a topic that often gets me really emotional. about my dad. and how much i hate tobacco so much for just making money off killing other people. i hate my dad for that decision he has decided to make and he doesn't understand. i told the entire group of people about my story, the events that have happened. my relationship with my dad and his love for cigarrettes. i cried so much and the entire group was the most supportive people i have ever met, they made me feel so comfortable. after my story, i only cried more as everyone cried telling their obstacles of overcoming the deaths of loved ones. from that day, we didn't judge eachother anymore, we loved one another on another level. guys & girls.
as much as i love aypal, this was a totally new experience for me. i didn't know all these people and yet they all held out their own stories for me to hear. there was a lot of trust, even with the coordinators.
college is definitely the main strive for the staff and coordinators, and i must say i learned hella lot. we're now working on our personal statements for like 7 hours already or more, accumulated from the past 3 days. & it's really fun, & challenges me to think more, and even inspires me to get back to writing. somewhat (:
again, though college was the main focus, i learned another part of me, and i made so many new friends. i hope to run into them on the streets or on the bus and whatnot.
i learned to not be afraid to tell my stories.
it really has been a great experience here and though i had my doubts about coming, i would regret it more than ever if i decided to not come. time literally flew during my stay here and the 100 degree weather made it all that better. the people here are incredibly wonderful and i got to meet so many people in san francisco and oakland that i never would've said hi to. the first day here everyone was really stuck with their own group of friends but i knew a couple of people that were in other schools because we went to the same middle school together.
the second night when we were speaking about going through the fears and obstacle that we had to overcome, i knew what i wanted to speak about but i knew it was a topic that often gets me really emotional. about my dad. and how much i hate tobacco so much for just making money off killing other people. i hate my dad for that decision he has decided to make and he doesn't understand. i told the entire group of people about my story, the events that have happened. my relationship with my dad and his love for cigarrettes. i cried so much and the entire group was the most supportive people i have ever met, they made me feel so comfortable. after my story, i only cried more as everyone cried telling their obstacles of overcoming the deaths of loved ones. from that day, we didn't judge eachother anymore, we loved one another on another level. guys & girls.
as much as i love aypal, this was a totally new experience for me. i didn't know all these people and yet they all held out their own stories for me to hear. there was a lot of trust, even with the coordinators.
college is definitely the main strive for the staff and coordinators, and i must say i learned hella lot. we're now working on our personal statements for like 7 hours already or more, accumulated from the past 3 days. & it's really fun, & challenges me to think more, and even inspires me to get back to writing. somewhat (:
again, though college was the main focus, i learned another part of me, and i made so many new friends. i hope to run into them on the streets or on the bus and whatnot.
i learned to not be afraid to tell my stories.
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